Spending Spending Spending

Do I set up a payment plan with Navient or do I just let the loan do what it's going to do?  That is the question of the day.  I have the money in my other account, but it is already below what I started with.  I've paid my mom and a few other things.  To be honest, I'm glad of the things that I've accomplished, but there are goals set.

Navient (student loans)
To be honest, I really don't understand why student loans have to be such a bother.  Yes, I needed the loans to help pay for school.  Yes, they did what they needed to do.  Yes, I understand that they have to be paid back.  What I don't understand is the harassment that one has to endure when owing them.  It is awful and I'm sad that I was in a position to need loans in order to afford school.  Also, the interest rates are ridiculous.  No matter what, they have to be paid off.  I will make a call to set up a payment plan.  It's not in the cards, but it has to be done, no matter what.

Due to the student loan issues, my credit score has been dropping, slowly, but surely.  Trouble don't last always.

Things to do today
Get Liam $545.00, found out that he needs a new motor, that's not in my budget.  Either pay $4,000 for motor replacement or $1,887.55 for issues and that's not guaranteed that the problem will be fixed.  So, it's time to let it go.  I have to pay for the repairs and it's still not going to work.  Very very sad I know, the story of my life it seems.  On another note, once Liam is sold, I'll put that money toward paying off Marybelle.  I'm asking $3000, but under the circumstances, I'll take $2,000.  Putting $1,000 toward Marybelle will make me owe less of course.  I'll have it paid off sooner.  Once she's paid off she'll get sold too.  I'm ready to let things go and move forward.

I have been spending unnecessarily, but I have been getting things for the baby.  When the winter comes, he will not need anything.  I'm glad of that.  I found Thredup.com, a second hand store that offers clothes for babies and adults.  That's going to be my go to, plus JCPenney's for my babies clothes.  I have to have enough for all times.  You never know what will happen.

For the next few weeks I have to have enough.  June is coming fast.  Make sure my bills are paid.  Have enough money for gas and be able to put back what I've taken.  It seems, I never have enough.  Robbing Peter to pay Paul isn't a good look in this time and age of my life.

Things I Am Going to Do
Pay off Marybelle
Get floor fixed in house
Get student loans under control
Increase credit score
Move
Put back what I've taken away
Continue to put money away for him

June
mortgage
car note
student loans
cruise money (200)
babies party
credit card (First Premier and JCPenney's)
take baby to the beach

I see me, I see my life, I see my struggles, I see my successes, I see my pains, I see who I am, I see what I'm capable of, I see me.  The issues are real and able to be handled, I'll make it through.  Yes, I can.

Life

Life is what you make it and I think I'm going to make it better.  I posted Liam on Craigslist because there are several things wrong with him.  It's so sad, but I am in a state of letting go.  Letting go of my past and making better decisions.  It has to get better.  First, I have to pay $540 to get him out of the shop and there are other issues.  He may need another engine.  I feel so sorry for him, but life does go on.

Called yesterday to inquire about consolidation.  That was a very good call.  I went to studentloans.gov and signed up to consolidate my student loans.  What's very interesting about my case is that I have loans prior to 1995.  With that being said, I should be able to get a loan reduction for working on Title I schools.  Since this is my case, no loan reduction for me until those loans are paid in full.  I had those loans isolated so I can pay those off individually.  Looking forward to getting that done.

This month has been full of money coming out, but I'm glad to say I have actually gotten many things done.  I've been in a rut and it's time to get out of it.  Doing what is right by myself and my baby is all that is important.  When someone is constantly asking for me to help them, that is taking away from me and my baby.  More or less robbing us blind.

I want so much more for him.  A better house, in a better neighborhood.  I deserve that and so does he.  Even if I have to move away from my mom.  I just feel safer being closer to her.  I'm grown and have to let go of those strings.

One day at a time is all it takes.  Just one, one day at a time!  Continue to do what's right.  Make better choices and put money where it will work best.  Let go of my past mistakes and never look back.  That's how accidents happen, looking back.

Fifteen years, there are so many things that can happen during that time.  You blink and that time has passed.

Things that need to happen
Continue paying off student loans so they don't go into default
Refinance house so it'll be paid off in 15 years
Move to a better neighborhood
Continue to cut back
Get Oneal Street rented out
Trees cut in backyard
Floors fixed/replaced
Paint side room
Continue to thin house out

I'm old enough now to realize my errors and how to make them better.  I've cut back enough that I can really see the difference in my income.  My baby is going to grow and get bigger and more money is going to come out.  That's one reason why I must make better choices.  I had a large amount of money and due to paying things off that has been dwindling down.  I still have a little extra, but not what I once had.  Here's the opportunity to make up what was once there.  In due time, it's alright and I know it is.

Making Subtle Changes

Coming to terms with my reality has been a learning lesson and a bunch of other things.  I have been thinking seriously about letting go of both vehicles.  That means selling them both.  The Land Rover (Liam) needs some work and so does the Mini Cooper (Marybelle).  Something has to give.  We need something that we can fit in comfortably, low gas mileage, and can serve the purpose of us.  What kind of car would that be?  I don't know, but I know I want to pay cash for whatever that may be.  At the same time the house needs to be repaired.  I did get a few things done a couple of weeks ago.  There are still several things that need attention.  The only thing I can do is take one thing at a time.

See what's wrong with the flooring
Get another tree limbs cut (from in neighbors yard)

The major thing is reduction, getting rid of things that aren't needed anymore.  My how the pendulum has shifted.

As for the flooring, he's going to have to go under the house to see what the problem is and we go from there.  I have to have enough to survive.

Going to have Liam towed today to see what's wrong with him.  The towing is free and the consultation is too.  That's good, now to see how much it's going to cost to get him fixed.  Once he's fixed, I will not drive Marybelle for a while until I have enough to get the seats repaired.  I only owe $3283 on Marybelle.  I'm so ready to be done with that monthly bill.  See what a mid-life crisis will do for you.  Bad choices.

During my break:
Get Liam towed
Call student loan companies to see about consolidation and cutting late months
Call First Premier to get another card
Call Greentree to find out about getting rid of 6 missed payments on account

Student loans
I have them, misused them and took them for granted.  I'm here now.  Do I need to finish my PhD program?  Yes.  Do I have the money?  No.  When I finish, my pay will increase by about $12,000 a year.  That's about $1000 a month.  That would be great.  Right now, I don't see how this can be done.

Where there's a will, there's a way.  I will continue to pay what I can on these debts and move forward.  Going to call today to see what I can do to get these things under control.  This is the reason why my credit scores are having a hard time.  Live and learn.

I'll admit, I have been down on myself lately and don't know where to turn to make things better.  What I do know is I don't need to create any more debt.  Get out of the debt I have.  Move forward and make things better for the long run. I'll be just fine, we'll be just fine.  I believe in myself and this journey that I am on.  The first steps are knowing and second is doing something about it.  Focus on the problem and make it work.

I got this.  Sometimes it seems I don't, but it will all work itself out.  Trust!

Dripping Like a Running Nose

There have been many things going on:
Baby Showers
House Warming
Many other gift giving events

For me:
Fascia board replaced
Tree Limbs removed off back of house
mother's day gifts several
dropped my phone again today

Credit score dropped.  I did get a refund from the bank issue.  Life happens as always.  I'm a worrier and this baby has only made it worse.  My emotions are all over the place.  Maybe it's the baby, maybe it's my thyroid, maybe it's my life.  I don't know, but regardless, I have to get it under control.

Cutting into my savings, I am almost at $1000, that's not good.  Now, I need to replace that money that was taken out.  It's going to take time to make that happen.  Been seriously thinking about selling Liam.  That money could go to paying off Marybelle.  In the meantime, Marybelle is having issues.  That's crazy still paying off the car and having issues with it.

As of today, no more money coming out.  Unless, it has to do with food or an emergency comes up.  Also, tithes.  Things will be fine, I don't believe that all the time, but I know it will.

Next steps
Flooring fixed
Another tree limbs cut down
Bulb replaced and cover on Marybelle

Overall, I am glad that I have been able to handle all of the responsibilities.  Having this baby has made me view life much differently.  I'm able to take care of him and my other obligations as well.  I am so thankful.  I could not have ever imagined that this would be my life, but it's mine and I love it.

I will be fine!

I Got This

Of course, life keeps happening whether I'm with it or not.  The other day, I got pulled over because my tail light is blown and busted.  How long has it been this way?  For years, but it's time to get on the good foot and make things right.  No, I didn't get a ticket, I got a warning which was a blessing and I completely receive it.  The next thing that happened.  I was overdrawn in my account.  Why?  Nelnet took too much money out of my account.  It probably was my fault, but it wasn't right.  The manager wasn't acting concerned about it.  It took a teller to assist with the situation.  If it was up to the manager, Nelnet would have refunded my money, that would have taken 4-6 weeks.  This made me have to go into the savings which I'm already down due to paying my mother.  It's alright, I've been blessed tremendously and I am thankful.

Currently, I am working on my home.  I'm glad that I have the funds to get it repaired.  My fascia board is really bad, over the years, squirrels have been chewing and making it look awful.  By the time I get off work, it will be fixed.  Yes, to that.

Also, my house had a gas leak.  The gas company come and turned the gas off at the heating unit.  It doesn't have to be fixed until the fall.  That'll give me some time to get that done.

Next things
Flooring inside house (front room, kitchen)
House painted
Trees cut around the house

My cars
Liam repaired (towed)
Marybelle tail light and cover, seats fixed, headliner

No matter what, life is going to happen.  It's a matter of how it is handled.  I'll admit, I haven't been on my Ps and Qs, but there is always a season.  It's the season to get things done.  I have a plan and I am going to make it work.  I listen to many adults and I am proud to say that I'm going to be just fine.  No matter what, I got this.  Many times, it doesn't seem like it.  I get down and out because I want help, someone to come and sweep me off of my feet and handle all of my responsibilities.  That isn't my reality.  In the meantime, these things have to get done.  It feels good when my business it taken care of.

Plus, I have a little boy that I must take care of.  He's here to stay, no matter what.  The house is in disarray, there is only time to get it together.  Also, I have to get my car cleaned, it is awful.  This is my life and I got this.  It feels like I don't from time to time and I do feel like I'm going to lose it, but again, that's life.  I deserve a standing ovation, pat on the back, something, but I'll give it to myself.

When things get tough, wipe it off and keep it moving.  I'm going to be alright.

Things to do
Continue paying student loans
Save money, save money, save money

I'm alright all I need to know is that!

Never Could I Ever

Never would I have thought my life would be like this.  Single mother, living in the hood, foreclosure, car issues.  Never would I have thought this would be my life, well it is.  Things could be worse, but my choices have led me to this point in my life.  Letting go of people and situations can and will make my life much better.  Getting through it seems to be the issue.  No, it doesn't feel good.  How can I make it better.  Pray, not hold on to the past, forgive myself and let live.  All of these things are easier said than do.  I've paid off two things that have appeared on my credit report one was for $80 and the other $58.  I'm glad that I'm able to handle these debts.

Now, the student loans, the are really a bother.  I wasn't saying that when my schooling was being paid for.  Don't want this for my son.  It's truly crazy.  The lowest loan is for $1794 and the highest is $16,987.  I owe more than $150,000 in student loans.  I said it and I probably said it before.  This is awful.

In the meantime, I want to save $100,000 in a fifteen years.  In order to do that I must save $555.55 a month to total 6,666.67 a year.  Can this be done?  I think so, it's a matter of doing what's right and not falling short of that.  No extras.  At the same time, I have this debt that must be paid off.

Something that is good is my car will be paid off by the end of the year.  That means an extra $450 will be added to my monthly income.  I'm excited about that.  Will I get another car note?  No, not anytime soon.  That money will go to paying these student loans off.  Still I need to see where I can cut a few more corners.  Where there's a will there's a way.

Determination, motivation, self-support and love all need to be my friends.  I am down on myself because of my past decisions, but overall, I am somebody that had hopes and dreams.  Something along the way has snuffed those out.  I will not be that person, I will get back on it.  There are things that need to be done and in order to do them I have to get in a better place

Close, but No Horseshoes

One of my credit reports went down, but the other one stayed the same.  I'm under 600 again, but the other is still 611.  On a lighter note, I have paid off two things on my credit report.  Credit Karma is free and it really has helped me see what my credit scores are and how I can make them better.  Everything is in one place, it provides contact information and that is truly helpful.  

I feel like a pessimist, the glass is half empty.  There seems to always be something.  One thing after another.

-house painted
-grass cut
-flooring (hallway, front room, and kitchen)
-counter top
-fascia board -trees surrounding my home

The story of a property owner.  To be tied up with all of this and little money coming in.  There always seems to be something.  More money going out then coming in.  I'm always into something, never doing the right thing.  Now, I have someone else to be concerned with, this little boy that I have to make sure has diapers, is fed, clothed, housed, and taken care of.

Did I mention I have two vehicles, both under the weather.  It's always something in my life.  I guess that's what liven does to you.  My truck, I don't know what's wrong with it.  The battery will not hold a charge, it's leaking oil and overall running hot.  My car, the seats will not move.  I feel like a faucet with a slow leak.

On top of all of this there are several student loans that constantly call even if I've made my monthly payment.
Marybelle 3500
Student loans 160,000
House 54,000

I have a house that needs to be rented, I'm overall tired.  Tired of doing this alone, I need help, someone on my side to say hey, you're doing a good job.  Things will be alright.  I once had ambitions and goals, where they have gone, I don't know.  A part of me feels like a failure, the other part tired, tired of all of the bills, debt, issues.  Just tired.

This August I'll be 40 years old.  During the year of 40, I want to move into a better home.  Tired of being in the hood.  This little boy deserves better, I deserve better.  I have been in this house long enough.  The thing is where do I start to find someplace that I would love?  There are a few things that I want for my home.  There are new homes all throughout Columbus, GA, but they aren't what I want for myself.  I want so much more, but how can I want more when I'm not happy with what I have?  That's a good question.

I've been writing this and have accumulated more and more debt.  The title of this blog is financial success, but I don't have any.

I'll continue to pay off the debt that I have and work on making my credit score better.  By this time next year I'll have things in order where we can move into a better neighborhood.  This is my life, the decisions that I have made have led me to this person that I am today.  No I'm not happy with them, but I'm here and I am glad to be here.  Still learning daily and all I can do is better.

Goals
Get house in order
Pay off Marybelle
Move to a better house/neighborhood
Higher credit score
Cars fixed